What NOT to do in Spain! I’ve lived here for 8 years with Yoly my Spanish wife, and I’ve learned a lot of the do’s and don’ts of this culture. These rules will really help you get in sync with the locals and not make any major mistakes! Venga, let’s go! 🥝
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Spain is a complex country! It’s also a pretty easy going one. But there are certain things that you just don’t want to get wrong. And here they are!
11. Don’t go OTT on please and thank you.
In Spanish we just don’t use the words as much. We are more likely to work ‘please’ and ’thank you’ into the tone of how we speak, or by tweaking the words (such as adding “ito” to the end of a word).
10. Don’t put bread on your plate.
In Spain, you always leave your bread beside your plate on the table. It sites beside your cutlery, because it kind of is a piece of cutlery.
9. Don’t eat with your hand under the table.
I grew up with no elbows on the table. But here in Spain we also have the rule that you should have your hands above the table at all times. Because you might have a knife??
8. Don’t offer guests a beer at 5pm
Because we eat lunch and dinner later, beer o’clock is usually about 8pm… not 5pm.
7. Don’t help with the dishes after parties.
It’s just not something that’s done here. At the end of a party or dinner party, you might help tidy up slightly, but you don’t help do the dishes.
6. Don’t be a ‘pesado’ in social situations.
Chill out! Don’t ask people what their job is straight away when you meet them in a social setting and don’t expect people to cut to the chase when telling a story – we take our time here!
5. Don’t misinterpret loud conversations.
When Yoly speaks with her mother on the phone, it can get heated. But they’re not arguing – it’s just that conversations here often sound more intense.
4. Don’t generalise about Spain.
This is a highly regional country. So don’t assume that every region of Spain has the same language, customs or food.
3. Don’t call Catalan a dialect of Spanish.
Catalan is its own language – and don’t get that wrong (especially when speaking to a Catalan)
2. Don’t used ‘usted’ willy nilly.
Here in Spain we’re pretty informal and so don’t use “usted” unless we’re speaking with older people or in very formal situations.
1. Don’t mention the civil war casually.
The Spanish civil war and the dictatorship is a really complex topic, and still an open wound in Spain. So wait until you know someone pretty well before diving into the topic.
WHO ARE WE? 🥝
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Hola, Spain lovers! We’re James and Yoly. James is a New Zealander, and Yoly is from Spain. And we both live in Madrid. This channel is all about giving you a local insight into life in Spain, and helping you experience this country like a local when you come to visit (or live!). If that sounds like your kind of thing, bienvenido!
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44 Comments
Blimey these food ones are good to know and work questions…
Whats the real deal with cubans in Spain? Living in USA and tired of the racism here.
Lo de esconder las manos bajo la mesa, nunca lo había pensado, pero puede ser cierto. De todas formas casi todo el mundo está con las manos en el móvil. De la guerra civil puedes hablar, pero no opinar hasta que no sepas la tendencia política de tu interlocutor. Nuestra forma de comer el pan proviene del cristianismo. Un saludo y disfrutad de España.
I’ve been living in NYC since 5 years and totally dislike when I’m having a small talk with strangers and they ask me what do I do for a living. I find it so rude and indiscreet as if they are invading my private intimate life. I can’t get used to that. I think it’s rude. 😂
Family I would stay to help with the dishes after a dinner, but not with friends typically – Canada
Yes, I've been living in the USA all my life, but this question about what do you do for a living is annoying and rude in my book. It's very common here, but I wouldn't dare to ask such intrusive question. Thing is people here in the U.S. identify with what they do for a living. As a latina growing up with two cultures I just can't get over this particular custom.
not really accurate. Just s bit
In Argentina, we have an extra small plate just for our bread.
The most important thing NOT to do in spain
Be french
Fascinating differences in the two cultures. Muchas gracias!
Interesting. The word "Usted" comes certainly from Arabic, where it is is used especially for professors or teachers to show respect. "Ustadha" for addressing female, and "Ustadh" for addressing male profesors/teachers.
Honestly… in this way I like the French way of addressing people more as it shows more respect for people you are not familiar with.
Dont call catalan a dialect of Spanish even if it is 😂
I knew from the start what was going to be the number 1
about washing the dishes after being invited over for dinner, i think its entirely a matter of closeness and familiarity with the people that live there. Being allowed to help around a kitchen that is not your own is a sign of trust and strong bonds between friends, cause the kitchen is the heart of any home. So if you are welcomed over inside another person kitchen i would say its a sign of a good trusting relationship.
Ben Franklins rule applies here. To ask for something gently, use the subjunctive or conditional (potencial): Me alcanzari'a la sal, si no le es molestia. Well, maybe thats a bit TOO polite. But Franklin hardly ever had anyone contradicting him.
In continental Europe, you eat with your hands on the table. It is a rule. If you have a hand underneath a table, there is a suspicion you might scratch yourself. Downstairs there. Put your hands on the table.
You are very articulate. Doing the dishes deprives the host of fulfilling his role of being hospitable. (Hospitality is a prime value.) A good host needs good guests. Each must stay within their assigned role!
The use of "usted" is more widespread in some regions than in others. In general, the south is more formal, methinks.
Thanks is going to be a big help
People drinking in Spain in any time, morning beer – not a problem for many of them… there are no such rules
Surprised that putting your elbow on the table is a norm in NZ. WTH?
The reason for this in Europe is because it’s considered less hygienic because you can’t wash your elbow in the restaurant usually, plus you make your shirt also dirty in case the table has stains.
your accent is very unique where are you from originally?
In America I never saw the guests doing the dishes. As an American this seems quite odd to me.
Just because many Spanish are not polite does not mean that you should not be saying Por favor and Gracias. No one will be offended by your good manners.
Yes, the Spanish love to shout.
Learning about the drinking culture in Spain 🥂
https://youtube.com/shorts/T7XecBmWv_s?feature=share
Good explanation of the social cues Yoli, I am still always saying porfa or gracias way too much! haha. I'm kiwi/french, when I was growing up in NZ I would be told off for having my hand on the table (it's supposed to be on your lap) and then in France (like in Spain) I'd be told off for not having it on the table! haha. In NZ you are supposed to help with dishes…. I will remember not to help here next time , haha.
I would disagree with 11: we need to say please or thank you, but people forget manners
I'm an English Canadian who speaks fluent French and half-decent Spanish. Great video. Thanx for explaining the tú and Usted issues. I know it so well in French. Ciao.
I live in Paris and one thing you do NOT do is discuss jobs or money at a party or dinner or at all really. You don't ask "so what do you do?" which is typically one of the first questions asked in America
Is a pity that Spain is making the things very difficult for EU citizens. I been trying to get a NIE number and it is impossible after the pandemics to get an appointment to the police´s foreinger office(what the goverment is doing, i don´t really know). It seems that Spain is going back to the stone age, many things are slow, very slow. Traffic is a caos, everyone parking wherever they want, no fines, corners infected with cars blocking the visual security for pedestrians and cars aswell(no 10 meters parking pedestrian crossing rules). They always try to cheat you in some way. I understand that not everyone are like that but, is what I feel personally. I think Spain is still 20 years behind the rest of the developed countries in europe, specially the scandinavia. If we want to live toghether in Europe, the things should be clear and easy for its citizens in all EU countries.
I didn’t realise the Spanish were so uptight…jeez…
👏👏👏👏 incredible!!! It looks like you were born in Spain! I’ve seen many videos about what not to do in Spain and they say lots of nonsense but you really got it.
Thank you. I love reading all the comments. I’m going to Spain for the first time and I can wait. My parents are from Cuba, I thought speaking loudly was so normal, but some of my relatives were really loud. 😂❤
dodgy jumper dude
Oh my goodness, now I know where my father (RIP) had picked up a lot of his habits. His maternal greatgrandfather was a big influence in the culture of our family in Puerto Rico. He first arrived to Puerto Rico from Catalonia.
I love your video! Tho I have a random question.. that song playing at 2:30, I heard it before, it’s driving me nuts, what song is that??
I believe coming from a once British country of New Zealand as compared to Spain is similar to my wife from Colombia and myself from the states. I like it when people stay behind and help cleanup or put the dishes in the dishwasher. Many hands make light work.
Beer o'clock! Yay! (8 or 9 yes). Even here in the US, there are still 'feelings' about our civil war.
Do NOT patronize the horrifically cruel bull fights, or 'festivities', where bulls are SET ON FIRE ALIVE to run around at night, nor the running of the bulls, where they pour ACID into the bull's eyes to blind them. Ever seen what happens to horses which have been gored? Better yet, do not visit Spain until they stop this!
The bread thing is ridiculous, you can put your bread on your plate. Nobody in my Spanish family cares whether you have your hands under the table, literally, nobody. The time of the day is pretty much off, that's true, but it's due to the fact, that Spain is way more westward than other countries in the same time zone. Do the dishes? Who hasn't a dishwasher nowadays? Asking for work? Why not? Talking about football is more fun, though. Telling a story? That's your wive, dude, like every wive, it's not a Spanish thing, they just like to talk. Is it loud? Yes! The regionality? As if it wasn't the same literally everywhere. Germany (where I'm from) is very different regionally, too. People don't like generalizations? Fair enough, but it's not a Spanish thing. Catalan IS a separate language, it's quite obvious to anybody who knows some Spanish. "Usted" is for paying respect to the elderly, or if you're really pissed and go all formal on someone. You can definitely talk about the civil war, but you can't be talking out of your ass, you got to know what you're talking about.
In Venezuela, they also refer to their language as "castellano" instead of "español".
All of this is so interesting. So enjoyed the video/info.
About the doing the dishes part if you are the guest its kind of unpolite to help clean